The Goddess's List of Infractions Against The Moppet's Secret List of Rules and Guidelines

We interrupt this rock'n'roll schmoozefest to deliver the following...

My Wife's List of Infractions Against The Moppet's Secret List of Rules and Guidelines

1.  Did not provide muffin after providing raisin toast and banana.

2.  Did not allow her to wear one pink boot and one white sneaker.

3.  Neglected to have "Fluffles" (her stinky stuffed lamb) on the changing table during dressing time.

4.  Did not allow her to do a proper amount of wiping her own bottom after dirty diaper.

5.  Did not put her sweater on before putting on her pants.

6.  Forced her to hold my hand on the way to the car, even though she clearly had her hands full carrying a 12 inch by 12 inch sized baby doll blanket in her other hand.

7.  Delayed in properly swaddling Fluffles in a real swaddling blanket and handing him to her after she was seated in her car seat.

NOW, after all the violations listed above: the moppet got mad at her mother this morning taking a route to work/daycare she deemed inadequate. "You don't have a friend, Mommy," she said.

Keep in mind, the child is 27 MONTHS OLD. Folks, we are in TROUBLE.